Jason McMahon, at first glance, appears to be a mild-mannered realtor, a sound basketball player with a dependable outside jumper and a generally amiable fellow. Yet questions began to arise about his past after two incidents in the first couple of NTL preseason games, where he viciously elbowed a player in the face (to be clear: Jay is averaging more elbows to the face than Brendan Laprel is averaging shot attempts).
What kind of person is capable of such spontanous violence? NTL's exclusive investigation was quite revealing...
Before he got into real estate, Jay made a name for himself in the world of professional wrestling as Captain Concussion. Dressed as a pirate, he took to the ring and unleashed such special moves as The Pegleg and The Saucy Wench. He was eventually kicked out of the promotion because he stabbed a Bengal tiger to death at a live event.
Not satisfied with the carnage of wrestling, Jay then got involved with mixed martial arts, fighting in several small-market circuits. Though not a master of any particular fighting discipline, he managed to win several bouts by employing his own custom hand-to-hand martial art, Black-Out-and-Wake-Up-and-My-Opponent-Is-Unconscious-and-Bleeding.
Once he discovered his talent for real estate, Jay gave up his more extreme pursuits and took up basketball. But once in a while, the inner beast will break through the calm veneer. And there will be suffering.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wes Returns to the NTL, Games Sort of Suck--Is There a Connection?
ST. ANSELM--It will be a rare sight this season: Weston Miller on the court. Because of a scheduling change, as well as a total dick move by Mark Cronin, Wes 's NTL availability will be severely limited.
But he suited up for White, which managed to take two of the three games today. Cronin was the hero with yet another walk-off bucket, sealing Game Three with a wide open layup (which, for him, is the equivalent of heaving a half-court shot with his feet).
But he suited up for White, which managed to take two of the three games today. Cronin was the hero with yet another walk-off bucket, sealing Game Three with a wide open layup (which, for him, is the equivalent of heaving a half-court shot with his feet).
Blue Team standouts included Steve Morin, Bill Sarette and, as always, ODB, who recovered from some stingy Joe Emmons defense to anchor the paint for Blue.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
NTL Pre-Season Goes About as Well as You Would Expect
ST. ANSELM--The 2010-2011 NTL season started with a whimper and a fizzle yesterday, as the NTL pros took to the Carr Center court for some four-on-four action that looked less like passable basketball playing and more like eight guys running around with backpacks full of barbells.
White Team took two of the three exhibition games, with Mark Cronin hitting a walk-off, game-winning three, lifting his preseason shooting average to .017.
The player of the day was Real Estate Jay, who was on on fire, scoring all but two of White Team's points in the third game. When asked about his offseason training regimen, Jay coyly stated:
"I will not confirm or deny the recent rumors of my involvement with HGH or PxNL (Ed: a powerful growth hormone used to encorage gorilla mating)," he said. "My jump-shooting aptitude is purely a benefit of intense practice."
When it was pointed out that he doesn't actually jump when he shoots, Jay replied "F--- off!" and walked away.
White Team took two of the three exhibition games, with Mark Cronin hitting a walk-off, game-winning three, lifting his preseason shooting average to .017.
The player of the day was Real Estate Jay, who was on on fire, scoring all but two of White Team's points in the third game. When asked about his offseason training regimen, Jay coyly stated:
"I will not confirm or deny the recent rumors of my involvement with HGH or PxNL (Ed: a powerful growth hormone used to encorage gorilla mating)," he said. "My jump-shooting aptitude is purely a benefit of intense practice."
When it was pointed out that he doesn't actually jump when he shoots, Jay replied "F--- off!" and walked away.
Monday, June 14, 2010
NTL Pro Ryan Burns: Opera Superstar
On the court he's known for his hustle play and .25 inch vertical leap, but on the stage, Ryan Burns takes on an entirely different persona: laser-focused, opera star.
Over the weekend, the NTL's best singer wowed the cultured masses of Worcester with his rafter-rattling performance in Die Fledermaus. He received the following accolades:
"A magnificent performance!"
--Reginald Vel Guggenheim, The Worcester Pennysaver
"Mr. Burns is...very...good at...singing."
--Linda Farnsworth, New England Opera and Sudoku Digest
"Watching him up there, giving it his all, I was so moved. In fact, I pooped my pants I was so moved."
--Xavier Axelord, Hannaford Flyer, Week of 6/13
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Mark Cronin's Mobile Uploads from the 2010 Dickens Conference
What better way to blow off steam after an interminable panel discussion on Dickens' views of social disparity in the Victorian age? Alligator wrestling, bee-yatch!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)











